The union called marriage is one ordained by God. This implies that it must be carried out according to his pattern. The Bible teaches one man, one wife until death do them part. It is, therefore, necessary that as a Christian lady, one has to be cautious and meticulous in the choice of a life partner. The increasing rate of divorce in these days calls that one should carefully examine her choice before saying I do.

A lot of believers have walked down the aisle and are so sure that they are madly in love with their partner, only to go their separate ways a year into the marriage. Many are only enduring their marriages instead of enjoying them. Also, a lot of Christian ladies have been deceived into marrying the wrong man under the camouflage that” he goes to church or he is a Sunday school teacher or his parents are ministers”  The question then is, “who is the right man?”

WHO IS THE RIGHT MAN?

If you don’t know what you are looking for, even if it passes by you, you won’t be able to recognize it. The right man has an identity. If you must identify him when he comes, you must know his identity. Marriage was ordained by God for companionship, partnership, procreation, protection, and for pleasure.

The right man should be able to fulfill these purposes of marriage. He should be able to compliment you, be a man of like purpose, and someone you shouldn’t be ashamed of no matter his weaknesses and shortcomings. He must have a good and personal  relationship with God.

QUALITIES OF THE RIGHT MAN:

There are qualities to look out for in a man before he can be considered suitable as a life partner. It is necessary that you love this individual but love isn’t sufficient, you must look out for some characters and traits in him. This will determine if you are going to be compatible or not.

1. Hard working. The ideal man is not a lazy fellow, but a hard working and committed man. Someone that must be able to provide for the family.

2. Faithful. Another quality of the right man is his faithfulness. If the man that you are dating is not faithful in little matters, like money, his work, or relationship with God, then should not expect faithfulness in marriage from him.

3. God fearing. The fear of the Lord is what keeps one from sinning. If the man doesn’t have the fear of God in him, there is no way that he won’t cheat on you, or maybe assault you in the marriage.

4. Gentle. Another quality you need to look out for is the gentleness of the man. Is he easily provoked? The God fearing man is gentle and can be easily placified.

5. Patient. If the man that you are dating is not patient with you, or displays some characters of impatience, such man cannot be given a “yes” for an answer, unless there is a positive change.

6. Understanding. How understanding is the man you are dating? Does he understand your moods, your decisions or actions? You must marry someone that understands you.

7. Purposeful. Does the man have a purpose in life? If the man is yet to know his purpose in life,  then there is no need to venture into marriage with such person.

8. Sincerity. The sincerity of the man must also be examined. If the man is not sincere and transparent with you, then you should be careful of the relationship.

9. Examplary. The right man must also be examplary. This means someone you can be proud to show off to your friends.

10. Communicative. A communicative person is one who can easily communicate. Communication is very important in all area’s so the right man must have the quality to communicate and listen  because there is nothing as difficult as someone who is not open or communicative. You just can’t connect with them! Communication brings understanding.

HOW TO EXAMINE THE RIGHT MAN:

As a believer, you should not rely only on physical judgment in determining if the man is the right man or not. There are some matrices you need to use in examining your choice. God is interested in every area of our lives as believers.

Therefore in selecting a spouse, you must not leave him out. You must let him direct you as he only knows the end of a man and sees even to the intent of the heart. Psalm 37:5 said, “Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass.” You must, therefore, trust God to help you in the decision making. Prayers, scriptures, inner peace, the voice of the Spirit are some of the ways you can use in examining if he is the right man. 

SUMMARY:

Many marriages are failing these days. If you must not be a victim of failed marriages, then you must thoroughly examine your choice. It is necessary you pray as many things are unveiled in the place of prayer. Be open to the Spirit of God as he ministers to you and don’t discard voices of instruction from both biological and spiritual parents. As one might be blinded by emotion and let reasoning go to strike. Having done all these, the Holy Spirit will help you to make the right choice.

SHALOM….

By: Jojo Favoured