SEX IS NOT LOVE!

Sex is something is common and rampant these days. In days gone by, the word "sex" was somewhat sacred and people didn't use it freely a

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Sex is something is common and rampant these days. In days gone by, the word “sex” was somewhat sacred and people didn’t use it freely and easily, unlike now. To some people, sex is their way of life. They can just wake up, get a call girl, have sex with her and pay her off. To others, they have partners that they can have sex with consensually and mutually. If you ask some people why they have sex, they will tell you that it is to manifest love. You can have sex with someone without loving the person. This article will give you a proper understanding of sex and love, and how they relate to each other. It is also to bring to you what the Bible says about sex, and how a believer should live as regards to sex.

WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is an emotional language of communication in human beings. It can mean to show care, concern, commitment, or compassion. In Greek, there are various classifications of love. There is the Agape type of love, which is unconditional and comes from God. It is divinely given. There is also the Philia type of love. This is the love seen and experienced among friends. We also have the Eros kind of love. This type is sexual and is concerned only on how to gratify sexual desires.

There are other types of love, but these ones are the most common ones among people. Love is a deep level of affection for something and it communicates that affection in many ways.

WHAT IS SEX?

Coming to what is sex, sex is a physical, intimate relationship between two people. People engage in these types of sex namely, penetrative sex and none penetrative sex. Anything that will appease the erotic or hormonal feelings in an individual can be classified as sex. Sex can be fueled by lust and not love. Lust is a temporary feeling or desire fueled by the increased release of testosterone and oestrogen in the body, and it lasts for a while, then you normalize it by engaging in a sexual act and it’s gone. That is why a man can easily sleep with anyone and move on with his life as if nothing happened.

SCRIPTURAL PERCEPTION OF LOVE AND SEX.

In the Bible, God created and ordained sex to be an integral part of the married, ie between husband and wife. In Hebrews 13:4, the Bible said: “Marriage is honourable in all, she the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” God made sex to be only enjoyed in the bed of marriage.

In 2 Samuel 13, Amnon the son of David said that he loved Tamar his stepsister. He even became sick because of the love he said that he had. On the counsel of his friend, he deceived the king and Tamar was sent to prepare a meal for me. After Tamar had prepared the meal, he asked her to come and have sex with him, but she refused. Seeing that she refused, Amnon forced himself on her and had sex with her. The Bible said that “Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love where he had for her…” This shows that what he had was lust fueled by erotic love. A love that can immediately turn to hatred is never true love. A love that can not wait to do the right thing is not true love.

CONNECTION BETWEEN SEX AND LOVE.

Is there a connection between sex and love? The truth is that sex can be used to communicate love, but only through the proper channel, ie in marriage. Having sex outside marriage is a miscommunication of love but a communication of lust.

IS SEX LOVE?

Sex is not love. Anybody can get sex from anywhere without feelings or strings attached to it. Giving sex to your partner without being married doesn’t show that you love such a person. It only means that the kind of love in the relationship is eros. If having sex is love, then there should be no reason for couples who are constantly having sex to break up and call off the relationship. Sex outside marriage will leave you insecure, incomplete, empty, and broken. It is true that love gives, but the stage of a relationship determines what should be given. The only stage in a relationship that love should be given is when married.

WHAT THEN IS TRUE LOVE?

The major factor that sustains a relationship is love, not just any kind of love, but true and sincere love, the Agape kind of love. This love is considerate, caring, compassionate, committed, communicable, and complimentary. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7(TLB), the Bible said  “Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.”

True love will not compel you to have sex before the appointed time, it will not deceive you into having sex, neither will threaten you to have sex. True love is never about what you can get but what the other person can get. If someone is always looking to get sex from you, then such a person does not love you. True love does not seek to have its way and desire. It is not selfish, but gentle, kind, and patiently waiting for the right time.

In summary, if someone says that he/she loves you, there are other ways to demonstrate that love and not by having sex. Any sex-driven love is lust and must be rejected immediately. Wait for the right time to come and you will enjoy sex with true love.

SHALOM…

 

By: Jojo Favoured

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