The major reason for breakups and divorces in many relationships and marriages is due to lack of tolerance and forgiveness. Jesus Christ said that offences will certainly be, and it has been proven to be true over and over. No matter how someone may say he loves you or she loves you, a time will certainly come when such a person will do something that will offend you.

It might not be intentional, but it will really hurt you. At such a time, what will you do or how will you react to such a situation? This article is going to address tolerance and forgiveness aimed at building solid relationships and marriages.

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TOLERANCE AND FORGIVENESS.

Most people think that to tolerate someone means that you have forgiven such a person, but it is not the truth. You can tolerate someone without forgiving the person, but you cannot say that you have forgiven without tolerating the person. True forgiveness is built on tolerance, which implies overlooking the offences of the offender, and relating with that person as if the offence was never there. Tolerance gives credence to forgiveness, it establishes one’s claim of having forgiven the offending spouse or partner.

On the other hand, one can tolerate someone without forgiving the person. In this case, the offended always has in mind the past offence of the offender, and in most cases refers to it. What the offended now does is to live a life of self-management whenever he/she is close to the offender to avoid being offended again. Tolerance without forgiveness draws a barrier and does not build a bridge. In most cases, it will say neither good nor bad. 

SCRIPTURAL INSIGHT ON TOLERANCE AND FORGIVENESS.

The word of God has something to say concerning every situation of life. The Bible said in Romans 12:10, Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.

This scripture implies tolerating one another, overlooking the faults of the offender and giving them their due honour and preference. God expects every believer to bear with each other and to always seek for reconciliation and peace. That is why the Bible didn’t just stop at tolerance, it also pushed for forgiveness. In Ephesians 4:32, the Bible says; And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

When God forgave us of our sins, he didn’t remember them anymore neither did he remind us of our sins. He forgave us and justified us. In this case, you are to forgive and forget the offence of the offender. The backbone of a solid relationship or marriage is forgiveness and tolerance.  This is the evidence that we have received the grace of God into our lives. 

THE FOUNDATION OF TOLERANCE AND FORGIVENESS. 

Without love, it will be impossible to forgive, forget and totally tolerate the offender. It took the love of God to forgive and justify us,  and it will also take love to forgive and tolerate people.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says; Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost.

You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.  Love overlooks the imperfections, shortcomings, ignorance, and childishness of the offender. Love is the foundation of tolerance and forgiveness.  This kind of love is not humanly, it is agape, it is a divine kind of love that only God can give. To have this love, you must first come to God in repentance of sins and acceptance of Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. It is after this that the love of God is shed abroad your heart by the Holy Spirit, and causes you to love, tolerate, and to forgive. 

SHALOM….

By: Jojo Favoured